Well, there is this thing called Culture Shock...

It's been a long time since I last updated.  Sorry.

Briefly, I want to talk about something that happens to all expats living abroad.  Commonly it's called culture shock, but in long term cases it's more like culture stress because it's not really a shock.  Maybe they call it shock because it's like the pschological term for shock: a state of being disoriented, withdrawing, and being irratible or anxious.  That pretty much describes culture shock.  Culture shock is inevitable when moving or spending time in another country and usually it hits 1-3 months into your time there.  It happens.  I stopped writing my blog when it hit.  Then I never really got back because finals started.  I'll talk more about that later.

There is a list of stages of assimilating into a different culture.  The goal is to get to level 4, but it's possible to be in multiple stages in different degrees.

Stage One:  Everything is exotic and shiny.

Stage one is really fun.  It's the honeymoon phase of moving to another culture.  Everything about chinese culture was interesting and exciting.  Mainly because it was so different that novelty really gave everything a shiny glimmer through my rose tinted glasses. 

Stage Two:  Everything is confusing and annoying.

After the shine wears off, the honeymoon is over and things aren't so fun anymore.  Chinese culture is really confusing on many levels and after being stared at the 10,000th time, or being yelled at in Chinese for doing something wrong that you didn't know about, or having another awkward moment with a random Chinese person, living in China is really not fun anymore.  It's dirty, and different, and this is when you really start craving food from home hard core, like cheese and not-boxed milk, turkey sandwiches, good beer and coffee,  pizza sauce that wasn't sweet, and rainbow chard (well, maybe that was just me).  Normal food.

This is where culture shock really gets you.  You start complaining and grumbling more than normal, you become irritable and annoyed constantly, you start withdrawing and watching movies alone in your room.  I was constantly tired and slept all the time.  The emotional stress takes a toll on the body and a whole bunch of people got sick.  Things are just rough.

Stage Three: Acceptance

Stage three is the light at the end of the culture shock tunnel.  Once you force yourself out of bed and out of your room, you establish routines that make life understandable and stable again.  My routine includes going to get a real milk tea latte every day.  (Maybe twice a day).  You find the things that remind you of home and make you happy.  You find the things that you like about Chinese culture (like tea to go everywhere).  You get to know your chinese friends a little more and have them explain some of the things that are confusing about Chinese culture.  You accept that the Chinese do things differently and that's okay.  Different is okay.

Stage Four: Assimilation

The goal for most people in their international experience is this level.  Assimilation is taking part of the foreign culture and adding it to your own personal culture, participating in Chinese culture as a whole.  This happens the best when you fluently speak the language (which I absolutely do not) but can happen to anyone who makes an effort to understand the culture.  Assimilation is literally a change in thinking and habits, in subtle ways you starting thinking more Chinese, seeing patterns or subtexts that you didn't see before.  You not only accept that things are different but understand why.  This understanding of the culture makes you appreciate it more.

In general, I'm in stage three moving into stage four.  However, I am still experiencing all stages depending on the event or encounter.  Some people that I know are still in stage two.  Stage two can make or break a person, living in a different country shows you many character flaws that you didn't know you had.  It's rough, but a really good growing experience.

I hope to start writing again, now that I'm on vacation in the States I have easy access to blogger, which is blocked in China.

More to come!

T Minus 20 Hours

This is my luggage pile that I will be taking with me.  The trunk and purple duffle are checked (50 and 40 lbs) and the brown/grey roller and the backpack are my carry-ons.  I'm pretty impressed over all.  The only thing that I didn't get to pack that I really wanted to was a black briefcase.  Maybe Dad can bring it when he comes to visit me in September.  (Noted:  everyone is welcome to visit me.  Please come!)

This morning was the first time I really felt excited about going.  So much of moving is hassel and stress and anxiety that I had no room to feel excited.  People would find out I'm moving to China and say "You must be so ex-CI-ted!!" and I would smile and nod even though I didn't.  Theoretically I was excited, but the emotion wasn't there until this morning.

HOLY CRAP I'M MOVING TO CHINA, TOMORROW!

But I'm not looking forward to the 24+ hours of traveling.  But I am excited at getting to my appartment and putting away all my stuff and having my new friends come over for tea.  And meeting my students and making them all think I'm crazy because I talk too much and smile too much and they have never had an English teacher like me.  On the whole, Chinese English teachers are pretty solem.

I'm excited about buying a hot plate and figuring out what I can cook (and what I can't).  And baking baby pizzas with no cheese and no tomato sauce.  So like... bread and olive oil and cherry tomatoes.  Something like that.

I know that I am going to break down and cry in the airport tomorrow when I say good bye to my family.  I nearly cry just thinking about it.  But this is what I'm called to do, so that's the way it needs to be.  As Donald Miller would say, a great story is not without tears.  Well, paraphrased.

Today:  ate baked brie for lunch and am eating mozzerella and tomato salad for dinner.  Have eaten pizza for the last three nights in a row.  More cheese tomorrow.  Then...  rice.  Will USPS ship cheese through the mail to China?