It's been a long time since I last updated. Sorry.
Briefly, I want to talk about something that happens to all expats living abroad. Commonly it's called culture shock, but in long term cases it's more like culture stress because it's not really a shock. Maybe they call it shock because it's like the pschological term for shock: a state of being disoriented, withdrawing, and being irratible or anxious. That pretty much describes culture shock. Culture shock is inevitable when moving or spending time in another country and usually it hits 1-3 months into your time there. It happens. I stopped writing my blog when it hit. Then I never really got back because finals started. I'll talk more about that later.
There is a list of stages of assimilating into a different culture. The goal is to get to level 4, but it's possible to be in multiple stages in different degrees.
Stage One: Everything is exotic and shiny.
Stage one is really fun. It's the honeymoon phase of moving to another culture. Everything about chinese culture was interesting and exciting. Mainly because it was so different that novelty really gave everything a shiny glimmer through my rose tinted glasses.
Stage Two: Everything is confusing and annoying.
After the shine wears off, the honeymoon is over and things aren't so fun anymore. Chinese culture is really confusing on many levels and after being stared at the 10,000th time, or being yelled at in Chinese for doing something wrong that you didn't know about, or having another awkward moment with a random Chinese person, living in China is really not fun anymore. It's dirty, and different, and this is when you really start craving food from home hard core, like cheese and not-boxed milk, turkey sandwiches, good beer and coffee, pizza sauce that wasn't sweet, and rainbow chard (well, maybe that was just me). Normal food.
This is where culture shock really gets you. You start complaining and grumbling more than normal, you become irritable and annoyed constantly, you start withdrawing and watching movies alone in your room. I was constantly tired and slept all the time. The emotional stress takes a toll on the body and a whole bunch of people got sick. Things are just rough.
Stage Three: Acceptance
Stage three is the light at the end of the culture shock tunnel. Once you force yourself out of bed and out of your room, you establish routines that make life understandable and stable again. My routine includes going to get a real milk tea latte every day. (Maybe twice a day). You find the things that remind you of home and make you happy. You find the things that you like about Chinese culture (like tea to go everywhere). You get to know your chinese friends a little more and have them explain some of the things that are confusing about Chinese culture. You accept that the Chinese do things differently and that's okay. Different is okay.
Stage Four: Assimilation
The goal for most people in their international experience is this level. Assimilation is taking part of the foreign culture and adding it to your own personal culture, participating in Chinese culture as a whole. This happens the best when you fluently speak the language (which I absolutely do not) but can happen to anyone who makes an effort to understand the culture. Assimilation is literally a change in thinking and habits, in subtle ways you starting thinking more Chinese, seeing patterns or subtexts that you didn't see before. You not only accept that things are different but understand why. This understanding of the culture makes you appreciate it more.
In general, I'm in stage three moving into stage four. However, I am still experiencing all stages depending on the event or encounter. Some people that I know are still in stage two. Stage two can make or break a person, living in a different country shows you many character flaws that you didn't know you had. It's rough, but a really good growing experience.
I hope to start writing again, now that I'm on vacation in the States I have easy access to blogger, which is blocked in China.
More to come!
